This is most certainly not a true story, but it sure is funny.
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An American battleship ship is traveling at night around Canada when the radio comes on. It says “Canadian Navy to American Battleship, we have detected that you are on a collision course with us. Please alter your course 5 degrees north by north-east to avoid collision, over.”
The ship’s captain looks at his crewmates, gives them a wink, and picks up the radio. He replies, “American Battleship to Canadian Navy, you are on a collision course with us. Please alter *your* course 5 degrees south by southwest to avoid collision. Over.”
The radio comes back on. “Canadian Navy to American Battleship, we can’t do that. Please alter your course 5 degrees north by north-east to avoid collision. Over.”
The captain takes the radio and, in his best show of authority, says “American Battleship to Canadian Navy. We are the USS Lincoln, one of the largest naval vessels in the entire US navy, and escorted by multiple support ships. If you do not alter your course, we will be forced to defend ourselves to avoid collision. Over.”
The radio goes silent for a moment.
Finally, it comes back on. “Canadian Navy to American Battleship. We are a lighthouse. Your call. Over.”