In The Storm

I am in a raging storm right now. Zoey is very sick. Diagnosis: off-the-charts kidney disease. Prognosis: who knows? Some cats respond to treatment, some cats don’t, I’m told. Which is she? No one can say. Meanwhile, she just sits and looks miserable.

Everyone responds to her in their own way. Jenna says, “My heart hurts.” I get it.

Hunter hisses at her and moans. Then he hisses and moans at me. I understand: she smells alien to him. I can’t fault him for behaving like a cat.

I am scared, too. Our boat is rocking but I have to steer the ship and stay the course. I’m surprised how much energy hypervigilance takes.

“Help, Lord!” I pray. “I don’t know what to do, what to think, how to prepare.”

Then a still small voice:

When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.
Isaiah 43:2 NIV

I don’t know how this current story will end. But now when I start to fear and worry, I hear: “When you pass through the waters … ”

And I can function calmly again, safe in the eye of the storm.

For in the day of trouble
    he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
    and set me high upon a rock.
Psalm 27:5 NIV