“I’m dragging my feet about making an appointment for Zoey’s blood work,” I told Jenna last week. “Once we have that information, we will have to make the hard decisions.”
“I’m ready to make the hard decisions,” she replied. “I’m tired of watching her suffer.”
So, I made the appointment for Wednesday, January 24. It is 3 weeks since she got visibly sick. She must have been failing long before then.
And so the grieving begins.
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But wait! Over the weekend she began to eat! We were more than excited! Maybe things are turning around.
As time progressed, she faded a little. But she is eating and drinking, so how bad can it be?
Turns out, very bad. Worse lab results. More weight loss. Now it is up to us to decide “quality of life.” Vet says maybe 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months. No longer.
I’m ready to let her go. Jenna is not. And since Zoey is Jenna’s cat, we take her home to love her for as long as we have.
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I’m sitting here thinking, this is stupid. All this fuss over a cat! There are people who have suffered the loss of parent, child, spouse. Loss unimaginable. Grief unbearable. After all, there will be other cats. But never be another Zoey. We love, so we grieve.
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Grief is not a disorder, a disease or sign of weakness.
It is an emotional, physical, and spiritual necessity,
the price you pay for love.
The only cure for grief is to grieve.
Earl Grollman
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Fully human and fully God, Jesus knew grief. At Lazarus’s tomb, Jesus wept. The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!” John 11:35-36 NLT
“The God on whom we rely knows what suffering is all about –
not merely in the way that God knows everything, but by experience.”
D. A. Carson
God understands us better than we do ourselves. He understands both love and grief. And He walks death’s dark path beside us.
Even in the unending shadows of death’s darkness,
I am not overcome by fear.
Because You are with me in those dark moments,
near with Your protection and guidance,
I am comforted.
Psalm 23:4 The Voice
I am comforted and I will be comforted. And part of the comfort is this:
How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
A.A. Milne
*hugs* 😕