Category: Detoured by Affliction

(From my journal, November 25, 1994, during my first bout with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) “So much to do, so little time, so few people to handle each task.” At least, that’s what we are told (or tell ourselves). Is it a case of “I’m busy therefore I’m important, therefore I have value?” But what happens…

(From my journal dated May 22, 1993 and November 16, 1994) I’ve become almost obsessed with the quest for information about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. And I begin to wonder, do I need the knowledge to fight an enemy, or to embrace a lover? Do I “fancy myself in the role?” With my dramatic flair I…

(From my journal dated May 18, 1993) It’s three months today since I became ill. That’s not as long as it seems. It’s hard to remember health. Last Friday, like a ray of sunshine piercing black clouds, the doctor suggested a diagnosis: “Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.” Since I need a label, that one will do: it…

During the time approaching the second Cancer surgery, I was working through the book, Six Weeks to a Simpler Lifestyle by Barbara Degrote-Sorensen and David Allen Sorensen. (Minneapolis, MN : Augsburg, ©1994.) On week 3, day 7, the topic was “Saying Goodbye.”  Here is what I wrote. (From my journal dated 6/26/2000). I praise You,…

September 11 has become a day of remembrance for me, our nation’s day of affliction. Yet I worry that as time passes our nation has forgotten the horror, the sorrow of that day, and completely lost the incredible unity we felt as those events unfolded. We who were alive that day clearly remember where we…

You saw me before I was born.    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.Every moment was laid out    before a single day had passed.How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.    They cannot be numbered! Psalm 139:16-17 NLT From my journal dated July, 16, 1995 Yesterday, when I felt good, I wrote out a…

Oh, no! They are gone! There were three, but now there are none! I keep looking and looking but … nothing. What has happened? Is this my fault? Am I being punished? What can I do? This is terrible! From my kitchen sink I can see the little hummingbird flying from place to place. She…

From my journal dated 6/19/2000 The doctor just took a biopsy of the “cobblestone” tissue in my mouth, tissue that wasn’t there two months ago. And again I am filled with Novocain and anxiety. Not “I’m going to die” anxiety, but “I’m going to be in pain and in need” anxiety. Which suddenly looks a…

From my journal dated November 27, 1999, after my first cancer surgery. It is Thanksgiving, and I’m too weak and sick to cook or to help at the free, community dinner at church. Barry went to church for the whole day, and, after some coaxing, the kids and I went to eat. I think I’ve…