Living with others is never easy, no matter how much we love them. And it’s often worse in these days of lock-downs and fear. Recently, I read Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero, a book that I found interesting and helpful. Written in 2017, well before the current crisis, the author speaks of the respect we owe to each other, whether living together or not. This is his “Bill of Rights.”
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Respect means I give myself and others the right to:
• Space and privacy (e.g., knocking on doors before entering, not opening one another’s mail, respecting each other’s needs for quiet and space);
• Be different (e.g., allowing preferences for food, movies, volume of music, and how we spend our time);
• Disagree (e.g., making room for each person to think and see life differently);
• Be heard (e.g., listening to each other’s desires, opinions, thoughts, feelings, etc.);
• Be taken seriously (e.g., listening and being present to one another);
• Be given the benefit of the doubt (e.g., checking out assumptions rather than judging one another when misunderstandings arise);
• Be told the truth (e.g., counting on the truth when asking each other for information—from “Did you study for the test that you failed?” to “Why were you late coming home?”);
• Be consulted (e.g., checking and asking when decisions will affect others);
• Be imperfect and make mistakes (e.g., leaving “room” for breaking things, forgetting things, letting each other down unintentionally, failing tests when we have studied, etc.);
• Courteous and honorable treatment (e.g., using words that don’t hurt, asking before using, consulting when appropriate, treating each other as [valued equals]); and
• Be respected (e.g., taking one another’s feelings into account).
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Radical, right? But maybe not. What would happen if we gave each person we met, whether we agree with them or not, whether we live with them or not, the grace that Jesus requires when He says,
“Treat other people exactly as you would like to be treated by them—this is the essence of all true religion.” Matthew 7:12 J.B. Phillips New Testament
Might that make this world a better place? Isn’t it worth a try?
Because, really, what do we have to lose?
