(From my “too good to delete” email file, dated Aug 8, 2007)
Recently, I was diagnosed with “A.A.A.D.D.” – Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:
I go out to water my garden. As I turn on the hose, I glance at my car and realize it needs washing. I start toward the garage, and notice the mail on the porch table that I retrieved from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the porch table, enter the kitchen to put the junk mail in the trash can, and see that the can is full.
So, I put the bills down to take out the garbage, but since that will put me near the mailbox, I may as well pay the bills first. I pick up my check book and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke I’d been drinking. I’m need to find my checks, but first I push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. The can is getting warm: I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye: they need water. I put the Coke on the counter and discover the reading glasses I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide to put them on my desk, but first I should water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote: someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we want to watch TV, I’ll be hunting for it, so I should put it back in the den, but first, the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but spill some on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was going to do next.
At the end of the day, the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a warm Coke on the counter, the flowers still don’t have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book, I can’t find the remote or my glasses, and I don’t know what I did with the car keys.
When I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m truly baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I’m exhausted. This is a serious problem, and I need help, but first I’ll check my e-mail….
Hey! Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!!