When the cable went out the other day, I followed every prompt on the screen. I held down the button, ran the diagnostics. Nothing happened. Turns out that the problem was on the other end. The cable came back by itself, exactly the way it went out. It was nothing I had done.
When the electric goes out, I check if it’s the neighborhood. Then I settle down, light candles, and figure out what to do without my screens. And wait. Because there is nothing else to do. The power comes back when it comes back.
I am in the middle of a power outage myself right now. This whole month I’ve been having an intense Chronic Fatigue Crash. I have little physical energy and virtually no mental energy. Everything takes more time and spoonsful than I have. Last week, in hopes of getting through this, I pulled out some old stuff, gussied it up a bit and posted it. But I failed to send them to your inbox. Sorry. Brain is off-line.
Writing this blog has always been a source of joy for me, but right now it is a source of stress. I have nothing to say and no words to say it. (But I’m pretty sure you knew that.) So, I have decided to put it on hold.
There is nothing I have done to cause this outage, and power will come back when it comes back. Until it does, I have to conserve those few spoons, concentrate on pacing myself, and eliminate the strength-sapping “should a’s” and “have tos.” It has to be okay to not be okay.
In Matthew 12:20a (NLT), Jesus quotes Isaiah, “He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle.” Right now, I am pretty weak and flickering. But “his name will be the hope of all the world.” (v 21) There is hope. There is always hope. He is hope.
This is just for now. This is not forever. That is my hope. In the meantime, thank you for your faithful friendship to me. And may God hold each of us in the palm of His hand. Always.