(From my journal dated May 22, 1993 and November 16, 1994)
I’ve become almost obsessed with the quest for information about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. And I begin to wonder, do I need the knowledge to fight an enemy, or to embrace a lover? Do I “fancy myself in the role?” With my dramatic flair I probably do. I need to avoid this at all costs.
I am becoming a dead bore on the subject. I must remember: people like to talk about themselves. I now have the leisure to let them. I can listen. That is who I want to be. Let me be a listener, Lord. Surround me with Your peace.
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One thing I have learned with this illness is to allow myself the luxury (necessity?) of rest. I don’t think it is possible to have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and not learn to listen and respond to the body’s needs. To fail to do this is to deny the reality of the illness. And health does not lie in denial. Nothing does.
Lord, You are the Way, the Truth, the Life. I need You to be all that in me. Amen.