I was beginning to be overwhelmed. I loved the kittens, but they were taking up so much time, energy and resources. I needed a break, so I would ask one of the kids to stay with them while I went into another part of the house to rest and read. It was refreshing to be away from them and the constant vigilance they required. But the feelings of relief fueled my guilt and doubt even more.
“Lord, we asked for the perfect cats. Did we miss Your will in this? This is too hard. We don’t know what we are doing. Why did you let us choose these cats? And are we going to lose them now? Please give the vet, and us, wisdom as we try to figure this out. Amen.”
Slowly we began to see small improvements. But things were really just beginning. A few days later we were back at the vet, this time with Archie. The vet finally diagnosed a cat-cold, although it was hard to hear Archie’s lungs with his loud purring. Now I had two cats to medicate. It was starting to feel like I was running a hospital.
Archie was almost as sick as Missy had been. I remember watching him sleep on the couch, his tiny nose so stuffed up that he could hardly breathe. Missy would hop up beside him with a toy in her mouth and pat him gently with her paw as if to say, “Wake up and see what I have.” But he did not stir.
Now I was questioning again. “Why did You let us get Archie? It would have been so much easier if we only had Missy. Was this whole thing a big mistake? Did we misunderstand you? Do You not want us to have cats after all? Because if that is true, we need to know now. It is getting closer and closer to time for school and work, and we can’t leave these two all day if they need medication. And are both cats so sick that they are going to die? Oh, please, God, no. I could not stand that. Please, please, oh, please, make them better. Amen.”
They say that all the best laid plans are apt to go astray,
That tribulation follows joy as night comes after day.
Lord, help me to remember when I don’t know what to do,
That I can always confidently bring my cares to You.