It’s been more than 3 months since the onset of this current Chronic Fatigue episode. I spent the first month denying and fighting it, and the second impatiently resentful. Though not out of the woods yet, I’m adjusting now. I’m happy, though wistful, watching others move forward with things I love doing.
If you had told me at the beginning that it would last this long I would have been discouraged. I love engaging with people, both in and outside of ministry. I wanted an active “normal,” not the sidelines.
If you had said that my “normal” would change, I would have been indignant. I was energetic, engaged in life. That was “who I was.” Now felt like a limp, old holey rag, fit only for the trash.
But here’s a thought: there is another kind of “holey” cloth. Planned, deliberate, and necessary holes. It is called lace. Lace has many uses, but only one purpose: to be beautiful. It does that just by being.
I’m beginning to understand the difference between feeling like trash and feeling like lace. Clearly, I’ve not been discarded; there’s work proceeding in me. Making lace – making anything worthwhile – takes time. And patience. (Hmmm. Guess I need that, too.)
Mary Wilson Little (of the Supremes) says, “It is difficult to see why lace should be so expensive; it is mostly holes.” But the value is in knowing exactly where the holes must be. Only the Creator sees the finished product from the beginning. Only the Master can turn empty holes into a work of art.
With this in mind, I’ll stay on the loom, confidently looking forward instead of sadly looking back.
And I will remind God’s other “Works of Art” (You! Yes, you!) to:
Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.” (Unknown)
And,
You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and
a work in progress simultaneously. (Unknown)
Finally, most of all,
I’m sure about this: the one who started a good work in you
will stay with you to complete the job by the day of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:6 Common English Bible (CEB)
So, remind everyone (and especially yourself) to
“P.B.P.W.M.,G.I.N.F.W.M.Y.”
“Please be patient with me, God is not finished with me yet.”
(Unknown origin, popular in the 1970s.)
Thanks. I want to be lace.
Me, too!