I’ve been dealing with a dry, tickly cough for a few days. Seasonal allergies, I told myself.
Then Saturday, I woke up with a sore throat. Uh-oh. It’s funny that, when I get sick, I wonder what I am being punished for. Because everyone knows that illness is a result of some moral failure.
Then Sunday I woke up with no voice in addition to the tickly cough and sore throat … but no fever. Ah-hah! This isn’t Chronic Fatigue! I know what this is: it’s a virus! I’ve been here before and I know what to do. I push fluids, take meds and rest. And know I’ll feel better in a few days.
But mostly, I stop blaming myself. This is not punishment. This is experiencing a beautiful but badly broken world in real life. I can cope with this, I will cope with this, because the God who loves me promises to be with me. And He always keeps His promises.
***
The Eternal is my shepherd, He cares for me always.
He provides me rest in rich, green fields
beside streams of refreshing water.
He soothes my fears;
He makes me whole again,
steering me off worn, hard paths
to roads where truth and righteousness echo His name.
Even in the unending shadows of death’s darkness,
I am not overcome by fear.
Because You are with me in those dark moments,
near with Your protection and guidance,
I am comforted.
You spread out a table before me,
provisions in the midst of attack from my enemies;
You care for all my needs, anointing my head with soothing, fragrant oil,
filling my cup again and again with Your grace.
Certainly Your faithful protection and loving provision will pursue me
where I go, always, everywhere.
I will always be with the Eternal,
in Your house forever.
Psalm 23 The Voice
Thank you for this. I blame myself, too when I get sick and I always have. I feel guilty. My mother mad me feel bad or what I was doing to her by being sick. Thank you for reminding me that God has redeemed that.
So sorry to hear you went through that. You are indeed redeemed and held blameless. Love you, sister.